6 Ever get the feeling your message is falling on deaf ears? Does it seem people are only pretending to listen? Examining subtle details in your listener and getting in sync with their moves can improve your chances of reaching them.

"Whenever you have a high degree of rapport with another person, you will almost always find that you are sitting or standing alike and that you are each mirroring the other's facial expressions and gestures in a completely natural fashion," said Tony Jeary, communications coach to many of America's top business leaders, in his book "Life Is a Series of Presentations."

Even when such mirroring doesn't come naturally, you can put a little conscious effort into it and get the same results.

Matching Positions

One of the easiest ways to mirror another's body language, Jeary says, is to match his or her body stance or sitting position. Pay particular attention to the legs. As for the upper body, look to see if the shoulders are positioned so the person faces you directly or at an angle.

"If you are consciously looking for this type of positioning, you'll find it is very easy to recognize and mirror," he said.

Mirroring the tilt of another person's head is also easy enough, but facial expressions can be a bit tougher. Jeary suggests looking at the face as two distinct regions: the eyes and everything above; and the area below the eyes, including the nose, mouth and chin.

In the upper portion, look for wrinkling of the forehead, squinting of the eyes and other muscle movement in response to certain messages and comments, he says. Are the eyes opening wider than normal? In the region below the eyes, pay closest attention to the mouth. The simplest gesture of all is the smile.

Keep It Subtle

It may sound strange, but probably the most effective way to build rapport, Jeary says, is by matching the other person's breathing pattern.

"Look at breathing as just a rhythmic body function that everyone does constantly. With that in mind you can see that tapping a pencil or moving your foot in the same rhythm as the other person's breathing will work as well as breathing in and out when he or she does."

Matching a person vocally will also help you establish rapport. Sounding like the other person in tone, volume and rhythm will impact the degree to which he wants to hear you speak. By modulating, you can also match the other person's mood, which can increase his receptiveness.

"If you stop to think about it, then, mirroring another person's state is relatively straightforward," Jeary said. "Observe that person's posture, facial expressions and vocal quality, then subtly match these things as closely as you can."

Be careful, Jeary warns. There's a difference between mirroring and mimicry. Mimicry is usually insulting. Mirroring is respectful.

And matching a person who's not enthusiastic does no one any good. Match his level initially, he says, but once you've gained some rapport, try to lead his mood upward.

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